so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
