So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
