i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
