I bet he comes in French.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
