Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
