ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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