so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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