Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
