Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
