I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
