Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
