i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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