Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
