Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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