But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
