I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
