Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
