I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
