i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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