So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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