Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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