I wish life had little blips of pornography
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
