Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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