Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
