oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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