Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
