He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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