he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
