no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
