Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
