Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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