No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
