p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
