You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
