just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
