I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
