is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
