Define "chronic" masturbator.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
