I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
