So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
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