Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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