do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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