you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
