i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
