I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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