I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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