it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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