we have officially lost it.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
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