Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I am naked and annoyed.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
