i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
