we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
